Escape to Home
by Sara Jaye
Summary: He couldn't go back there, not while they were fighting like that.


They're too busy fighting to hear Shawn leave, much less notice he's carrying a suitcase. He's not going to make the mistake he did when he blew up the mailbox, this time he's got his own clothes. He was going to Cory's anyway, so it's not like he needs to sneak in the window like last time. He knocks on the door and is immediately welcomed inside. Just like always.

Dinner's nothing special, just Mrs. Matthews's meatloaf with string beans and mashed potatoes. It's still better than whatever slop his mom was going to make, though, and he eats enough for two people; luckily Mrs. Matthews knows by now to make twice as much whenever he comes over. And this time she remembered the ketchup. He throws himself into laughing at Cory's jokes, teasing Eric, telling Morgan weird stories about monsters under the bed.

When it's almost eight, Mr. Matthews offers to take him home and the memory of screaming and throwing things and accusations comes back and hits him in the stomach.

"No!" He clears his throat. "Um, I mean, Mom and Dad said I can stay here tonight! I know, it's a school night but Cory and I can walk together tomorrow!" His tone isn't lost on Cory, who looks at him worriedly before turning to his parents.

"Please, Mom and Dad? We'll be good, we won't stay up too late or watch TV, we'll even do our homework."

"Well..." Cory's parents looked from them to each other and back enough times for Shawn to feel like he was going to go insane. _Don't send me home, don't send me home, don't-_

"I suppose it's okay," Mrs. Matthews finally says. "But just for tonight. And next time, Cory, don't spring this on us at the last minute. You're lucky Thursday's not going to be a busy day for us."

"I'm sleepin' on the couch," Eric says, and no one objects. Shawn and Cory thank Cory's parents, then run upstairs to Cory and Eric's room. The questions start once they're alone.

"What's going on? Did something happen? Did you have a fight with your dad?"

"I-I just...can't go ho-I can't go back there." Suddenly he feels sick to think of that place as _home_ with the dirty septic tank and his parents and the gunshots and the noises. "I just can't. I-it's just...not a good time." Cory puts a hand on his shoulder, and Shawn bites his lip. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Shawn, we're best friends, you can talk to me about anything."

"Cor, please. Just _don't._"

"Shawn-"

"Just stop it, okay?!" Cory looks hurt and Shawn immediately feels bad. "I-I'm sorry, I...I think I'll just take a shower and go to bed."

"Shawn, it's eight."

"I'm tired, okay?" Tired of his parents, tired of the trailer park, tired of life always kicking him in the face. Nowhere feels like home to him anymore, the closest is the Matthews house and he can't stay there forever. Cory hugs him and he bites his lip harder, feeling an unwelcome sting in the back of his eyes. "C-Cory..."

"What's going on, Shawn?"

"It's..." He pulls away, burying his face in his hands. "It's my parents, okay? They're fighting again, I know, they're always fighting but today they were gonna kill each other and I can't stay there anymore, I just _can't_!" He punches Eric's bed in frustration. "Why can't I just have a normal mom and dad like everyone else?"

"Aw, Shawn..." Cory hugs him again. "My parents aren't so normal! They do crazy things!"

"Not like mine." Shawn leans his cheek against Cory's shoulder, sighing. "Look...most of the time I can handle it, they've always been like this. But when it gets this bad..."

"I wish we could do something to help. Um...maybe Mom and Dad know how."

"No, Cor, really. I'll be okay." He forces a smile. "I always bounce back. You know me."

"Well..." Cory pats his shoulder. "You've always got a place here if you need it, okay?"

"That's all I ask." Shawn feels a real smile tugging at the corners of his mouth now. "Hey, you wanna play Street Fighter?"

"I thought you were tired," Cory says. Shawn smirks.

"You're just scared I'll beat you."

"No way! You got lucky last time, I'm gonna mop the floor with you!"

"Prove it!"

Cory sets up the video game and they get lost in the world of pixellated violence and fake blood. _This_ is the kind of fighting he doesn't mind. It's all pretend, they're just colors on a screen and he doesn't have to go back to them at the end of the day.

He knows he'll have to go back eventually, but for now he can pretend the Matthews home is his home.


End file.
